By KAROLINA KOPEK: Today was my last day visiting the Minhang Campus and it was off to an interesting start. I think most of my further day trips are off to interesting/unfortunate/scary starts…I like it though.
Not only could I not find a taxi from the metro station in the pouring rain, but I was also already twenty minutes late to my first meeting. I can never notify anyone that I am running late due to my lack of Chinese phone and WiFi/data. When I finally got in a taxi that made its way around the suburbs, I was convinced that the driver once again took me to the wrong campus. It turned out she only came in from another entrance which made it impossible to find the library. I decided to get out of the car near a random building and just ask students for directions. The first student failed to help and ended up bringing me to the student dorms on the complete opposite side of the campus. I am normally fine with walking long distances, but not in a never-ending pouring rain that causes me to slip uncontrollably every other step…
I finally made it to the library one hour after my scheduled meeting time. Thankfully, my interviewee was very sweet and understanding and was still able to make the time to meet me later. In the meantime, I met with Kiera, a student I became friends with, for the last time. I also squeezed in an interview with a friend of another interviewee, who strongly believed in the established gender roles due to biological and historical differences. She had a unique perspective on gendered beauty norms – she did not think it is unfair that women have to put more emphasis on beauty because it gives way to a spectrum of clothing and beauty choices that men do not have. Because women are physically weaker, beauty can act as a sense of security for them. She believes that the amount of makeup she puts on directly influences her perceived respect towards whoever she is interacting with.
I noticed a lot of assumed fragility in this interview. Elaine kept insisting that jobs requiring higher IQ’s should be reserved strictly for men without a particular explanation. She finally responded that more time-consuming jobs would be too much for women as they need extra time for sleep, beauty routines and shopping each day.
My second interview was with Kelsi and it took nearly two hours, being one of my longest interviews. She had some background knowledge about feminism, sharing that it is often heavily and aggressively criticized by men, particularly online. She notices a lot of dismissive attitudes from men towards women speaking out about workplace discrimination – the accusations that women and other marginalized groups exaggerate are very much present in the Western world as well. Despite her recognition of discrimination, Kelsi does not identify as a feminist because she does not believe that men and women can be truly equal due to biological differences.
She believes that women certainly should not be aggressive and brought up an example of a friend; because her boyfriend accepts her aggressive behavior, he is considered strange and weak by his friends. She explained this in terms of socioeconomic status; the boyfriend is less educated and has a lower position than his partner, therefore he may think he is less of a person than she is. I am told that this is a rare occurrence in China as men usually dislike having a partner that is more educated or has a higher income than them, which sounds like traditional male role model in the Western world.
Kelsi was open to talking about casual/premarital sex and their surrounding double standards. She believes that approximately half of the men in China would require their future wife to be a virgin while they feel entitled to have multiple casual encounters. She thinks such attitudes are unfair and unjustified but have the power to dictate most women’s behavior, including hers. Personally, she would feel uncomfortable being friends with someone who is promiscuous simply because they do not share her values. However, society would only feel uncomfortable with a promiscuous woman but would show plenty of understanding for men who act the same exact way.
After two long interviews, I met some girls for a goodbye dinner which was absolutely lovely. These people are willing to help me with anything, even when I do not need any help! I mentioned planning a trip to Hangzhou and one immediately called her friend who lives there and asked him to be my guide. I felt quite a bit sad leaving these girls but I do not doubt that I will see them again :)
Kiera and I:
This is ECNU’s *tiny* library…..
